Made-up Word Scrabble

None of the boys will play Scrabble with me.

I’ve had a lifelong love-affair with words, and they claim this gives me an unfair advantage, making it impossible to beat me without resorting to proper nouns, acronyms and creative spelling.

On a recent rainy winter day, Mr August and I decided to prise Tech Support and the Lamington away from their screens for an afternoon of board games. Mr August is the alpha male of our house, and acquired his nickname shortly after posing for a rather saucy calendar produced by his men’s social soccer team (it was very tastefully done, honestly).

As regular Scrabble was out of the question, we invented Made-Up Word Scrabble. The concept is simple. You make a word out of whatever letters are in front of you, using as many as you can. It needs to be recognisable as a word (i.e. you must be able to say it, so no long Welsh-looking unpronounceable words filled with consonants), and you must provide a meaning for your word. The usual scoring system is then applied and the words and their definitions are written down in the Scrabble exercise book. (There is an adults-only version called Rude Made-Up Word Scrabble, but I’ll tell you about that some other time).

Here are some of the words the four of us came up with. Happy Chin contributed by dancing round the table going “Ooooooooo” (which, come to think of it, could have been a useful made-up word, meaning perhaps “loud humming noise in the key of G made in order to drown out family members’ conversations.” Except there’s only 8 letter O’s in a Scrabble set. I counted).


Pitfep – very bad armpit odour

Naju – the noise made when sneezing with a heavy head cold

Bilten – half-finished project a man starts and claims he will finish when parts arrive

Pidnm – a small accident in your pants when you don’t quite make it to the toilet

Grootle – to fish around in your undies to find out what’s making your bum itch

Qedastan – a small country between Latvia and Lithuania populated entirely by Morris dancers (OK, I know this is technically a proper noun, but the boys are really good at this game so I had to cheat)

Theado – a hand-knitted cardigan for a very small dog

Tragoo – the wave you give another driver waving at you when you have no idea who they are

Bitis – an Elvish wheelbarrow full of cheese (and yes, the Lamington contributed this)


By now, we were all laughing so hard we were starting to hoteea (that is, breathe snot through our nostrils).


Silly words led to further creative silliness. For example:

Grubin – the stain on a small child’s sleeve from wiping its nose there

Trenex – laundry product used to remove grubins from a small child’s sleeve


Vochie – a tennis-like game played on the dining table with peanuts and a ruler

Festo – a Vochie tournament

(And in case you were wondering, the boys held a Festo on the dinner table shortly afterwards).

Finally, scores were tallied. The Lamington, who never wins at regular Scrabble, beat us all by a clear 30 points! An unusually whimsical imagination is very handy to have sometimes.


Coming soon: Monopoly – our adventures teaching nice kids to be rampant capitalists.



Coming soon: Monopoly – our adventures teaching nice kids to be rampant capitalists.



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